We were at Wala Wala last SaThirstday* when we spotted this and took this picture.

Can you see what's wrong with this picture?

Answer is in the comments. Click to find out.

* kudos to Thiang for coining that new word.

- Voxeros

OK, I know we have Fail Blog for this sort of pictures but I got these from my cousin Nick (still no Facebook account. Oi! Faster hurry lah!) which I thought some of them were hilarious.

Thought I share them here even though they may have been circulated to death on the intarwebs.

... and he steadies his breathing as he is about the take out the bad guy currently holding the little girl hostage....

 

USA would have been a better place had the girl on the left been President instead.

Speowling FAIL.

I think his insurance premium next year confirm sure hong kan liao.

Note to self: Stay away from coffee.

Image Credit: Unknown

- Voxeros

A football player over the age of 35 was due for retirement from the top flight as the player returned home from playing in overseas leagues for more than a decade.

Wanting to extend his career further, the player accepted the appointment of a Player-Manager in the lower echelons of the domestic league.

It was like a breath of fresh air as the Player relished the idea of hanging up his boot, albeit not fully retiring yet, and continue to be involved with his first love.

Football.

The now Player-Manager came in with lots of fanfare and the spirits within the club was uplifted by leaps and bounds.

The Player-Manager was a very hands-on person who would not hesitate to put himself in the Starting Lineup whenever injuries and suspensions got a bit too heavy. Alas, it was a club in the lower league and the team did not have the squad depth of the big boys.

The club was doing well as the Player-Manager started to string victories consistently and started to climb out of the relegation zone.

It was at around mid-table, mid-season that the Player-Manager figured that they needed to bring in more players in order to keep the momentum of advancing to the Promotion Playoffs at the very least. 

The Player-Manager went up to the board to ask for a bigger transfer kitty in anticipation of the coming transfer window in January. Alas, it was shot down citing lack of funds.

As the injuries and fatigue started to take its toll on the club, the club started to drop points home and away resulting in a slide towards the relegation zone. Transfer requests from the players also started to stream in, added to the immense pressure that the Player-Manager was already facing.

Then came the shocker when out of the blue, the Board of Directors decided to call for a press conference. It was the announcement of two new signings to reinforce the squad. The irony was that the Player-Manager was totally kept in the dark of the two new transfers. His position was totally undermined and made to look bad.

Did the Player-Manager not already spotted the need to bring in fresh legs in the first place? Then now the Board of Directors are all high-five-ing and patting themselves on the back for a savvy maneuver in the transfer market with trumpets blaring and all???

WTF???

The Player-Manager decided enough is enough and walked.

The club continued its spiral into the relegation abyss.

Image Credit: http://domeheid.blogspot.com

- Voxeros

It was the New Balance Real Run 2009 and it was a fantastic run last Sunday at the Changi Exhibition Centre where I clocked 1 hr 43 mins to clear the tri-terrain 15km run. The sea breeze early in the morning was most refreshing and quality of the air was good. Ironically, it was the shady Casuarina trees path that proved to be one of the hot spots as the neatly lined-up trees blocked the wind and we were like running through a tunnel of still air.

I am surprised how people were saying how fast my timing was as the folks at SGRunners.com were all claiming to clock around 1 hr 30 mins. Then again, the bar (no pun intended) of the CowBoyBar is certainly set much lower.

Truth to be told, I believe I could have easily clocked a better timing if not for the 2 factors.

• This is the first time I am running the New Balance Real Run and I have no idea what the route is like and hence I was very conservative in my speed as I kept worrying about running out of steam before I reach the finish line.
  
  
• Given what happened to the previous Mizuno Wave Run where I did run out of steam at the 10km mark, I was not sure if I am trained up to tackle 15km.

Well apparently, I was wrong on both counts. I shall return next year and will clock a better time. 1 hr 30 mins perhaps?

And speaking of the Mizuno Wave Run 2009, I clocked the 16km run in 2 hrs 18 mins. 

Anyway, the Mizuno Wave Run sucks monkey balls.

I cannot believe HOW BADLY ORGANISED it was.

• First, the road marshal at the YioChuKang-Casuarina junction send us the wrong way. By right, we should have just made a simple right turn and run along the road. Instead the errant road marshal sent us up the Peirce Reservoir hill which is an a uphill-then-downhill route of 2 additional km.
  
  Many of us ran out of steam as we did not "budget" this climb into our run plan.
  
  
• The toll it took to run that extra hill was evident as the water points right after the hill ran out very early. I didn't get any water for 2 subsequent water points after I cleared the hill.
  
  In fact, all that was left at the 2nd water point was buckets of ice but no water. I had no choice but to just grab two handfuls of ice cubes and run with them in my hands.
  
  
• The last point that really pissed me off was the final stretch from Ang Mo Kio Avenue 1 back to Nanyang Polytechnic where they were unable to get the permit from the Traffic Police to seal off the road for running. We ended up having to stop at almost every traffic light. What kind of a stupid run is this if running have to start stop start stop?

I am still ok with the first two obstacles where extra distance is just merely an extra challenge and I could always get a water belt (which I did for the New Balance Real Run) to tackle the water shortage situation.

But not sealing off race route is just simply unacceptable. It is miserable to run and it is also a safety risk to the runners.

I will not return to the Mizuno Wave Run. Other than the very nice backpack, everything else sucks monkey balls.

- Voxeros

It is a set of photos whom the source is unknown. Sure there are watermarks on the pictures trying to stake a claim to it but I think the source of these photos traced back even further.

So anyway, here they are:

So one fine day, some lady decided to crawl all the way to the end of the bridge railing hovering over the river.

Apparently, she came prepared as she took out a knife to fend off any attempts to rescue her.

And when I said "prepared", I really meant "prepared" as she brought drinks along with her. Won't be surprised if she is no stranger to this as she kinda knew that this is going to be a long drawn out drama. Come to think of it, maybe she brought fruits along in that plastic bag of hers and hence the knife. *shrugs*

Then suddenly stood up much to the gasps of the people watching and you would've noticed that the knife, drink and plastic bag are gone by now.

And then she started to take off her panties??!! WTF??!!!

And then she started to PEE??!!! WTFBBQ??!!
Ok, I take that back about she be no stranger to this weird-assed shite. She obviously didn't do bladder management prior to this. FAIL.

And they finally got her safe and sound.

Moral of the story.

- Got pang jio before you attempt suicide.

- And I suggest that goes for Pang Sai too..... whoa.... cannot imagine that!

- Voxeros

So I was hearing about this Monopoly game organised by MacDonald's as part of their promotion, which I was totally clueless.

As per my earlier entry, we had Faith's birthday party at MacDonald's. When it came to settling the bill, we were given this kan dua stack of these MacDonald's Monopoly peel-away thingies which I saw for the very first time.

To be honest, I still don't know how this game works and it certainly doesn't look very interesting.

So out of boredom, I decided to just open them to see what is inside.

Eh. Very boring leh......

HOW COME ALL SENTOSA COVE ONE??!!

- Voxeros

Today is Faith's birthday!!

After running 15km in the morning in the New Balance Real Run, I had to rush back home to shower and pick up grandpa and grandma to the birthday party.

Good idea to hold it at MacDonald's and let the restaurant run the show for you.

OK, so MacDonald's isn't exactly my favourite junk food joint but who am I to stop the kids from having a good time?

Yeah, that's 2+ hours of screaming kids running amok all over the place with a couple of bawling thrown in for good measure.

Oh and what is the thing about tattoos on kids these days? We were taught from young that tattoos are for bad people i.e. secret society gangsters type. Even when we were young, our rebellious nature goes only as far as the water tattoo on the underside of the 10-cent bubble gum wrapper.

Somehow, fun cartoon tattoos are SOP items at kids' birthday parties.

Sigh. Times have changed.

Thereafter, it's Andrea's birthday party at her place as both girls have the same birthday.

Yeah. Not 1 session of screaming kids but 2.

Man, what I give to run another 15km.

Still, it's Faith's birthday lah. So must positive a bit lor.

Happy Birthday!

- Voxeros

This cannot be explained but Happy 21st anyway.

Welcome to the CowBoyBar. The hive of scum and villanny.Good thing I made booking for the grass patch.

Photo Credit: Terz

- Voxeros

It all started with this...

<<< WARNING : VIEWER MAY EXPERIENCE EXCRUCIATING BRAIN HURT WHEN WATCHING >>> 

<<< WARNING : VIEWER MAY EXPERIENCE EXCRUCIATING BRAIN HURT WHEN WATCHING >>> 

Our very own Ms Ris Low with her super powderful Engerand.

But this post isn't about her. I am blogging about the spoof that I found at Almost-Famous.tv (http://www.almost-famous.tv).

Whoever the girl that spoofed Ris Low is damn funny.

Singapore, meet our very own version of Tina Fey!

It is almost like Tina Fey spoofing Sarah Palin while this girl, whoever her name is (someone PLEASE tell me!), spoofs Ris Low.

Afternote: That's Cynthia Lee MacQuarrie. *applause*

Enjoy! Check out what her favourite car is!

Here's another one! ROTFL!

- Voxeros

Err..... because you are bad luck?

If I posted that reply in her Plurk, I ish confirm die until damn ugly liao lor.

Besides, I don't know her THAT well to be able to pull off the joke.

So I think it's safer to just do it here and mask her name.

Heh heh.....

- Voxeros

Deek and I were driving around his neighbourhood when we saw this lady jogging around clad in a MILO t-shirt.

JayWalk: Eh. You see the lady up ahead in the MILO t-shirt?

Deek: Yeah. Why?

JayWalk: If she were an SAF personnel, you know what we would call her?

Deek: What?

JayWalk: MILO Peng.

Deek: BUAHAHAAHAHAA!!

Heh Heh..... it's one of those Sundays. :)

- Voxeros

This is the view from outside the clinic as I have been feverish since last night. I had to move the chair to sit outside as the aircon is too cold for me.

Up in the distance is a film crew doing filming and judging from the number of young actors, I reckoned it's a children TV program.

So here I am shivering, headache, sore throat and running a temperature of 39 degrees Celsius.

The kick in the balls? I am on leave today. FML. T_T

- Voxeros 

Happy Birthday to AhTiong73 who celebrated first at Le Papillon then at Wala Wala.

Here's the video clip of AhTiong73 doing his second Waterfall.

Observe:

1. How excited Thiang was in the background as if she was having an orgasm right there and then.
   
   and
   
   
2. How act steady AhTiong73 walked to the toilet to merlion, leaving the Waterfall unfinished. Blasphemy!
   
   I hereby confer the LongKangFairy of the Wala Wala Order to AhTiong73!

Click here for the rest of the birthday bash pictures.

- Voxeros

It was a cool Sunday with miserable weather reminding one of Seattle or London during season's change.

Supposed to bring the kids to the Kite Festival this afternoon but looks like the plan is very much screwed. Even if the weather turns good later in the day, I'd be an idiot to waddle all over the soggy muddy fields.

And no. Not going to let my kids do cave paintings all over the interior of my car with their muddy shoes.

Yes, it's a Sunday. I'm supposed to be free but not THAT free. I want my siesta. Thank you very much.

Got this series of pictures from my cousin via email and the picture (first of many to follow) is that of a retailer street in NanJing that is currently still under construction.

We can tell that the project is near completion as the tenants' respective sign boards are all up already.

From a far the various brands are rather recognisable but upon closer look, it is an whole other story altogether.

Read on.

Watons - WhatTheFark??!!

oMc McDnoald's upsized with an extra arch.

T-Eleven - The Gahmen is oblivious to all these infringements.

Haagon-Bozs - I don't think I dare to eat the ice-cream. Dunno the milk come from which animal one.

Pizza HUH??!!!??

BuckStar Coffee - I wonder if their coffee beans are real. 

LiMing - Yao Ming & Li Ning joint venture?

To the pirates of Spitland. A WINNER ISH YOU!!!

Image Source:  Unknown.

- Voxeros

This is a rebroadcast of Adrian's email to the rest of RunForFunds.

Yes, it is that time of the year where we disburse bursaries to the deserving kids for their school next year.

For this coming MYP ceremony, we have decided to cater a little something to the well wishers who would be coming down to support the event. Adrian will bring us for a walk in the nearby neighbourhood to take a look at another side of Singapore that the media choose not to recognise.

Thereafter a simple lunch at a nearby hawker centre where we will double it up as a Q&A session for those who are getting to know us for the first time.

So make yourself free on 29 Aug 2009 and join us!

p.s. Please be punctual. The principal very ON-THE-BALL one. :P

Rueters (09 Aug 2009): The police, acting on an anonymous tip off, raided a chalet at East Coast Park last Saturday night. 4 people were detained. The two teenage boys, whom their identities cannot be revealed due to their age, were caught in bed with two other significantly older women of foreign nationalities.

At press time, it cannot be determined which party was soliciting which. Either way, the two senior women may face an additional charge of having sex with minors and a possible sentence of 2 years each. 

All four are currently in custody pending bail.

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.

.

.

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Ok ok.... I just made that up. I think the girls are going to keel me for this. This was taken during a chalet last month but the photo seemed to tell another story hor? Haha.

p.s. btw, CowG0esM0o zhao knged. Pang puar liap.

- Voxeros

What better way to celebrate Singapore's 44th National Day weekend with a bunch of good kakis over one of Singapore's favourite past time - Mahjong?

So the Barflies decide to have a little mahjong session at Gingerbreadman's place but this photo is absolutely amusing!

Where the tiny itsy bitsy mahjong set AND table come from? Aiyoh, how come so small one!!?

And the 4 burly guys hunching over it just made it the perfect ironic photo.

Pity the picture wasn't well taken. I'd bet it was taken off a mobile phone.

Funny picture nevertheless.

Hahah. 

- Voxeros

Took this picture at my warehouse which also stores other people's stock.

Wanted to do yet another "Guess What Is This?" but I supposed this is just too easy.

Yup. What you see is white sugar. A mega shit load of it.

Each bag you see there is ONE FRIGGIN TONNE OF SUGAR. Yeah... 1,000 kg!!

So multiply that by the number of bags you see and multiply again by the number of them that can't fit into the picture.

If I were an ant, I would have die and gone to heaven.... multiplied by the number of bags.

- Voxeros

The $traits Times (27 Jul 2009) - Boy Slashed On Birthday

Poor little boy has the unfortunate luck of having glass rained on him due to a bad glass door.

But what caught my attention is the emphasis that McDonald's is a family-friendly place and this type of incident should not happen.

My question is that what has a restaurant being family-friendly or otherwise got to do with a faulty glass door?

Yes, granted that the restaurant is liable to pay for the child's medical expenses but surely it is unfair to bring in "family-friendly" as some sort of yardstick?

I mean it is not like McDonald's have any testing equipment to QC their glass panels. They rely on their contractors in good faith that the glass panels are up to specifications. The contractors in turn rely on the manufacturers in good faith too with all certifications in order.

Or it could be a case of the contractors trying to cut corners and bring in tempered glass panels that are of sub-par quality just to save the extra buck?

In any case, I think it is unfair to jump right at McDonald's throat over the questionable quality of the glass panels. A full investigation is in order and fingers should only be pointed at the end of it.

Well, as much as McDonald's is my least favourite fast food joint, I felt that I should speak up for them. Perhaps they have closed-circuit TV footage of what actually happened?

Image Credit: Madam Usha and Rishi outside the Northpoint outlet where he was hurt. The door has been fixed and now bears a sign saying 'Caution! Beware of glass door!' -- ST PHOTO: ALBERT SIM (http://www.straitstimes.com)

- Voxeros

If I were to sum the film up with an analogy, it would have been eating a bowl of soup noodles with a fork.

You have in front of you, a bowl of goodness but all the tastes just falls away the moment the noodles touched your lips as all the soup have drained away by then.

I can't even describe how bad it was.

Sorry, Sheylara. I am not going to sugar coat this unlike the rest of our more diplomatic friends who praised the film regardless.

((( Spoiler Alert )))

The film opened with two girls who supposedly are great buds together heading up to KL to seek assignments from a casting director based there.

Along the way, the director is trying to tell us that these two girls while having the same immediate goals ahead are vastly different people.

One pees in the bushes, the other can't. One loves to swim in the sea and under the sun, the other don't. Get the picture?

It was a Pan-Asian vs Plain-Asian rivalry at first where Pan-Asian character Alexia (played Evelyn Maria Ng) has everything going for her while Sandra (played by Sheylara) being the supposedly less commercially marketable Plain-Asian one was struggling just to barely keep up, even when sexual favours was thrown in.

So the resentment turned into jealousy and jealousy into rage. The whole rivalry was brought to a boiling point with a fight scene in the KL back alley.

Perhaps the best part of the film was the fight scene that was so real that one of the passer-by Auntie stepped in to break up the fight, not knowing that it was just a film shoot. Yeah. Auntie got her 2 minutes of fame as the footage was kept on.

Back to the story...

As a result of the fight, both were booted out of KL as they headed back to Singapore but only after killing the casting director. Was the body in the suitcase that they set fire on? Maybe? Maybe not. Well the rest of us prefers the latter as we are trying to make sense of whatever logic the movie has to offer.

So the scene cuts to Sandra and her husband getting into a fight as the latter correctly guessed that the wife slept with another man while up in KL.

This is when it all starts to go downhill which wasn't a really long trip to the bottom anyway. So out of the blue pops out the husband? Huh? Where did this guy come from? No head no tail just appear like that?

Same goes for Alexia's female lover who the scene cuts to her bedroom. Another no head no tail of event sequence logic. OK, so there was a female-on-female love scene for like 5 to 10 minutes of the entire movie and suddenly this flick is "the first contemporary Singaporean film to portray female homosexuality"?? Just like that?

Finally, it ended with a nude Alexia lying on the bed waiting for her supposedly second lover.

OH COME ON! Was it even necessary to have her out of her clothes? What real purpose does it serve? You mean to tell me that the story goes entirely the other way had, she lie on bed completely clothed?

Sounds to me the director deliberately put it in so as to get the R-rating which for some illogical rationale makes the film more "risque", "edgy" and "artsy"?

BOLLOCKS.

To me, film is a story-telling session. Be it commercial or indie, you have to tell a story properly. Regardless. It is basics 101. It seems to me that the director is just being tardy. There is no heart in this film.

The storyboarding was not done properly, if any to begin with. I doubt if anyone scripted the dialogues and just left it to the actors to figure it out en route.

The flow of the scenes is jagged akin to putting together a jig-saw puzzle.... with a hammer.

A lot of issues were opened but left unattended. The director may say that it was deliberately done so to leave it open ended for the audience to draw their individual conclusions.

Talk Cock lah.

I will believe that something is deliberately left open ended only when I am convinced that there is a way to close it.

Sadly in this flim, I was not. It was like a person answering your question with another question when it was so obvious that he did so because he was clueless.

OK, enough of the film. Next was the panel Q&A. That was another highlight of the night.

You should have been there to see these people talk!! Aiyoh. They speak as if they know more about the film than anyone else. Even the actors themselves!!

"Hi, I am a literature student, blah blah blah......."

"Hi, I am a film student, blah blah blah...."

I tell you, I rolled my eyes sooooo far back that my eye sockets hurt.

So? The rest of us peasants cannot appreciate the film better than you ijjit?

By the way, it was a Friggin Fish Farmer that pointed out to everybody that the casting director was killed in the movie. I'd bet 99% of the audience didn't catch that.

I didn't although I did notice the blood stains when the two girls were hugging in the bathroom which finally made sense when the very clever Fish Farmer helped me piece everything together. I don't need my hammer liao.

I-S magazine gave the film 1/2 star out of what i presume to be 5 stars maximum.

The magazine editors are real softies. Really.

*****

Dear Sheylara,

I hope you had fun in this production but it was a valiant effort that bore no fruit. I am sorry that the director did not step up to the plate to contribute as much as you have.

Perhaps, you should choose your scripts and directors more carefully next time.

p.s. this is just my humble 2-cents which I am sure 1,001 people out there would readily disagree with me. Let's just call it a difference of artistic opinion. Wokay?

Cheers.

Jay "My Eye Sockets Still Pain" Walk

*****

Image Credit: http://www.sinema.sg

- Voxeros

Contrary to popular belief, Hamburger did not originate from Hamburg, Germany. Instead, it's Hamburg, New York, USA.

Anyway, spotted this sign at a Kopitiam around Clementi Avenue 2 and I thought to myself.

If the Americans have the Hamburger and even our Malay brothers have their Ramly Burger, how can we lose out so easily?

We also must have our own burger!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you our Chinese burger. The KONG BAK PAO!!!

hahahaahahah.....

It's has be decades since I have had good KBP. My last recollection was the MacPherson Market when I was a kid. It was a ritual to be eating there on a regular basis.

There was no air-con, just fans high up in the ceiling under the sweltering noon sun. It was a time before food courts and the tables were all the foldable types and stools, metal and stackable.

Another icon there etched deep in my memory was the pen salesman that peddles Parkers, Cross, Duponts from table to table at the market.

Back then the Zebra Sharbo pens was all the rage. It touted to be the first ever pen to have the option of a ball-point pen and a mechanical pencil in the same pen. I remember my dad suckered into buying one as he succumbed to the temptation of the TV commercials that were airing them at $16 and $25 relentlessly.

- Voxeros

This is an absolute classic and a keeper.

Damn funny.

p.s. this is an extract. I have removed the non-relevant responses to the same thread. Click the screen capture above for the full plurk.

- Voxeros

JayWalk I don't get it. How do you lose your own shoes inside your own home? WTF? - JayWalk - #14jwsj via kwout

JayWalk I found my running shoes. I am going to be so dead when I get home. >.< - JayWalk - #17kbfc via kwout

As it turned out, the shoes were left in the gym and ended up in their lost-and-found section which I managed to retrieve 2 weeks later.

Fortunately, I was able to run in today's POSB Run For Kids 09.

Yeah. I got my shoes though I almost couldn't find my number bib. Well almost.

The morning turned out nice and cool with a light drizzle with the occasional flash of lightning.

In all, the whole event was badly organised as no one seemed to be around to guide the arrivals of the runners.

I guess most of us just did the logical thing and just walked over the the starting line which the flag off was a bit later.

I started off slow as I don't see the need to have to jam myself with the eager pack. It's not like I am going to win this thing anyway.

Not knowing the route as in run the route before certainly has its disadvantages as I have no idea how to pace myself.

So I just agar agar try not to run too fast or risk running out of gas towards the end.

At the 5km, I clocked at 27 min 42 secs on my watch. Not bad. A bit faster than I would have "budgeted".

Then I started to struggle as I find myself unable to sustain the speed that I was running. Worse it did not help that I have to climb a flyover at the 6km mark.

By the time, I hit the finishing line, I mistakenly thought I finished in 1 hour 01 min 02 secs. I was sorely disappointed as I did not expect my timing to be to off.

I kept thinking about it throughout the day, scratching my head how the heck did I take more than 30 mins to clear the remaining 3 km?

So by the time I got home after tennis (yeah, I went on to play tennis in the afternoon. I am so going to die tomorrow), I rechecked my watch only to see my timing to be 44 mins 42 secs.

Ok, I don't feel so bad now. =)

- Voxeros

Commentary – Sharing an opinion on the Internet | The Lycan Times 狼人時報 via kwout

So some dude participated in a discussion on Plurk and got into some difference of opinions with a few folks in there.

And it just so happened that the two or three opposing views are part of the CowboyBar , then suddenly the rest of us are all "scums and villains"?

So we are now down to name calling now?

Ok. Fine. Here's one for you.

DUMBASS.

- Voxeros